You made me cry and you don't even care
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
