I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
