so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
