i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
