Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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