sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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