My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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