They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
