Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no you cant smoke seaweed
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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