let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I just went to clothing optional bar
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize