My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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