If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
