I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
