I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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