so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she told me i tasted like america
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
