Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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