That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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