Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
