now i know why i became what i already was.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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