Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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