Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i've created a new STD.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
