Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He felt like a one man threesome
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
