fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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