Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish you could order shots online.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
COCAINE IS GR8
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
