In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
