JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
