For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
