So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
