Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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