we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
