I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
