I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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