i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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