somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
