I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
