Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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