Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
