dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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