You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize