I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
