if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
