Non-Jews are for practice
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
