thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
