i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
