some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
