i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
