Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
