Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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