I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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