I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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