i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize