I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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