WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
