its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
