I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
